The Tale of a New Education

Do not go where the path may lead,
go instead where there is no path
and leave a trail.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

I bought my first post-college text book-Classroom in a Book: Adobe Illustrator CS4. It is my first REAL endeavor to try and jump start my new company, Lucky Ink. I never thought after ten years of academia, I would be teaching myself design software to start my own company. Or buying new text books for that matter! So how does a trained art educator end up turning her life around, abandoning everything she thought she knew for her future? With the loss of someone she loved very dearly.

This past May, I graduated from a Master's in Teaching program. Originally, I wanted to find I job within a museum education department. Teaching in a classroom was always the backup plan, something I always thought I would be able to fall back on. Well, as it turns out school districts are not chomping at the bit to hire art teachers. The arts have been put on the back burner in school systems throughout the country. I became frustrated, disappointed, angry, and terrified all at the same time. I thought perhaps the last ten years had been a lost cause and I would be waiting tables much longer than anticipated. This was a fate for which I was not mentally prepared.

So with all the mixed-up emotions , I threw myself into my wedding plans. I was creating almost all the decorations by hand, from invitations to centerpieces. Being involved in a hands-on project made me feel alive again. I truly missed all of my studio art classes, and working on my wedding made creative energy rush through me. But deep down I knew that after my wedding day was done, this amazing feeling would be gone, and I would be back to my plan of finding a teaching position-the most financially viable solution for my future.

Summer came and went, and suddenly it was September. My wedding season was about to jump into high gear. Unfortunately, in early September my grandfather passed away. This was a man who was loved and admired by so many people. He was kind, thoughtful, funny, generous, and- something I had forgotten-creative. He was a master carpenter who took great pride in his work, from building houses to rocking horses. Growing up I can remember the various models, toys, and artwork he created to bring happiness to those around him. He constantly had little projects going, and the garage always smelled of wood chips and gasoline. At Papa's funeral, my Aunt Mary told me about his old military jack that served as a canvas for his original paintings and drawings. She gushed about what a talented artist he was and how much I would appreciate his beautiful jacket. Before Mary told about this unique jacket, I did not realize that Papa drew, painted, or dabbled in any other types of artwork. Suddenly, things began to make sense, and I had a moment of clarity-I came from a line of imaginative individuals who built their lives around building and creating. No matter what fears I had of living as an artist in the past, I started to ask myself, why not me? Why can't I live my life as an artist or designer? My husband has always told me, I am at my happiest when I am creating. I like to think my grandfather was the same way.

So now, here I am creating a new plan. I am educating myself for a new future. I have gained a new sense of self. I am learning the art of self-motivation, for I am now my own teacher. Everyday I make the choice to follow a new path. I make the choice to look to new people for inspiration. I know the road is not going to be easy, and there are going to be days when I want to give up on it all. But on those days I will remember the way my grandfather looked when he opened my wedding invitation-so proud and excited. I know he will help guide me in my quest to educate myself for a whole new life, the life of an artist.